The Quiet Turmoil of Men

March 2009 Newsletter

So how has 2009 started for you? I have found it quite challenging. Last year turned out to be a huge shift for me, especially after my trip to Mt Shasta in the USA and becoming aware of the unique energy New Zealand offers. So many of my old beliefs and ideas were challenged and found quite weak and irrelevant when put under the microscope. Choosing to replace these with more constructive and worthwhile beliefs built around sound principles was not always easy but extremely worthwhile. The diligence to focus on the new ideas, as against the old familiar ones, was the key.

In 2008 the world went through some pretty amazing shifts and choices. One of biggest to me was the shift to 'unity consciousness'. A number of new leaders elected have come with a message that we must be inclusive. Real lasting solutions will only come from an inclusive approach where everyone has a role to play and a responsibility to participate.

And now 2009 brings through a whole energy of a new beginning, if we so choose. I repeat - if we so choose. It will be up to each one of us as what sort of world we create from here. There are no rules from here. We are creating as go so we have a great opportunity and responsibility.

The March equinox is going bring a great influx of new energy. It will be important for all of us look after ourselves in the period March 21st through to April 10th. Adjusting physically to this new level of energy will require each of us to be conscious of following what feels best for us individually, especially if you are the sensitive type. I have found coffee suddenly does not appeal and yet a double shot latte was my usual morning starter for the last couple of years. More water, natural detox beverages and a bit more exercise have become the norm - time to clean up my liver.

Late last year I reading a lot of material new to me. Once I had sorted through it to make sense of it for myself, a number of threads started coming together for me. I put some of these ideas down in the following article for our 'Soul Cuisine' magazine. I hope you find it useful.

Go well,

Craig

The Quiet Turmoil of Men

As someone involved in personal self-development and self-empowerment coaching for business teams and individuals, I am coming across a growing number of men who have undergone massive personal turmoil and emotional challenges in the last couple of years but are reluctant to be open about it. I wonder how wide spread this is? We blokes are not too comfortable admitting to this sort of thing - I know, I have been there.

For a numbers of years women have been quite open and active in developing themselves and balancing out their abilities and energy, but there is a quiet unacknowledged change occurring for us blokes. The ability for both men and women to find their personal point of balance is critical in successfully handling the huge shifts that are occurring at this time and in the coming couple of years.

Let me give some background to the shift occurring. There are two types of energy that we all tap into. Firstly, there is male energy - this is all about setting goals, asking for what we want, taking action and driving things forward. Secondly, there is female energy - this is about using your intuitive guidance to find solutions and use a creative process to produce results. Just think of creating a child - is this done by the conscious mind? No, there is another powerful force at play that takes care of this amazingly complex process. This hugely intelligent 'female' energy can be applied to any 'project'.

Women have been encouraged to develop their male energy side, mainly through greater involvement in business and the running of organizations. The 'goal setting' and 'asking for what you want' processes are well in place and commonly available. The issue I now see for many women is to find balance between their female and male energy focus. There is a danger of over-emphasising the male energy stuff and ignoring the female creative energy, resulting in an imbalance and lack of ease - ignore it enough and it becomes major health issues that we call 'dis-ease'.

Now back to the issue for men. I feel the greatest challenge right now is for men. Little is understood about developing the female energy for we 'blokes' and balancing this with our male energy. I believe it is this factor that is the greatest impediment to us all moving forward. How do you safely use the male energy and allow the female creative side to come on through?

In recent years there has been a serious undermining of the value of the male energy, complicated by poor understanding of how to use it safely in a constructive, proactive way. It is the male energy of sheer aggression that allows a plant seed to burst forth and establish new life. And yet I feel that these traits are often discouraged, particularly in men and more so in young boys in our schooling system. The interesting thing is this - for us blokes to develop our access to the more creative female energy we have to allow our male energy to flow easily. We have to become more comfortable with this male energy and see that we can use it safely and proactively. Once this is established, we can then move on to developing our more creative female energy which allows us to find solutions, find opportunities, make better decisions and be innovative etc.

There is a serious gap in training and personal development being made available to us blokes and it is unlikely to come from more women trying to tell us what to do! Not that I am against women playing a role in the shift required, but rather it's up to us blokes to start to take a more proactive role in the shift now required. From what I understand, the women need us blokes to take the next step so they have the space to develop further.

The challenge then comes down to how do we support and encourage those men who are struggling and underperforming? From personal experience the issue is greater than most people give credit and it is this - fear.

When our world starts caving in, we blokes move further into male action energy and all it does is 'dig the hole' faster. We then get horribly stuck and are literally unable to find our way out. Fear basically paralyses us and many around us don't want to go there and so just want us to 'get our act sorted' (so it will be okay for them). Confronting the beliefs behind the fear is the key but this takes some courage and guts.

For me it was a second redundancy that forced me to face these issues. The nudgings were there much earlier on but I chose to ignore those. So they became more pronounced until the sledge hammer of redundancy came along. Now I tell clients that you can wait for the sledge hammer, but from personal experience, it is much better to respond to the earlier 'taps on the shoulder'. It is a bit like ignoring all the signals and having the ultimate reminder - a near death experience. It is one option, but not recommended! The problem I found was standard support services did not address the real issues for me. I had to go and find it for myself which was frustratingly slow, ad hoc and inefficient. So I ended up writing down what I had discovered in my own personal experience and now teach this to those ready and open to significant positive change.

I have found it interesting that those employers who support staff to make major personal changes receive significant payback, but not always in the way they would expect. Sometimes it is very direct, with the employee stepping up to make a major contribution, their true contribution. Other times it allows someone who has become a restriction in the business to easily transition into other work, freeing up the operation to run smoother and better. Either way, the payback proves to be extremely worthwhile.

And so I say to all those blokes out there that are struggling to come to grips with depression, anxiety and fear, you have a huge opportunity to make a life lasting change for the better. Look for someone to support you through understanding the issues and how you can use the experience and wisdom that comes from them to move on to something much better and more positive. And remember, you are not alone. There are many of us blokes that have been there and found our way through this; you just need to trust you will find one of us to talk through options and possibilities.

To those who know of blokes undergoing this process, never give up on them and never lose sight of the real potential they have buried inside under false ideas and beliefs. When you hold the idea that they have the possibility to find the support and solutions for themselves, you are providing powerful support - that is how it works. It is that simple.

As we blokes learn to use our male energy and then balance this with the female creative energy, we open up the possibility for everyone to move forward. We all win. It is the next step, but it takes real 'guts' and courage to make that step. I know, I have been there and seek to master the positive use of this each day for the benefit of myself and all those I come in contact with. The effect is profound.

I wish you all well and every success.

[ Return to top of this page . . ]
[ Return to the main newsletter and article index . . ]

Reprint Permission Notice:

That this copyright notice be included with the published material.
All rights, including copyrights of translated material, remain with the original copyright holder, M-Power International Ltd.